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How To Deal With Family Conflict When Your Depressed?

Depression making it hard to lose weight?

How To Deal With Family Conflict When Your Depressed?

Postby Sol » Fri Aug 18, 2017 6:57 pm

I've had a rough few years with some personal situations and I've used food as a way to cope, and gained weight. I recently started getting counselling to help with some better ways to deal with stress. My mother has had a rough year, losing her job, and difficulty finding work and having to depend on me for financial help (I move back home to help ) Everyday when I come home from work she's always talking about negative things and just sucking everyone around her in this negative mood. Yesterday I told her maybe we should try to talk about something positive, because lately it's been one depressing conversation after another and I can't deal with it anymore. She lashed out on me and said she has no one else to talk about these things and said I live in a a fantasy land and that's why I'm so fat and huge. I went up to my room and cried for hours I haven't talked to her since. She constantly bullies me about my weight, knowing how hard I'm trying to lose it and battling with depression my self. I am hurt and angry and want to yell at her and just freak out, but I know it will just be bad for the both of us. And I'm not sure how I should handle this conflict with her.With us both being in delicate emotional states.
Sol
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Feb 11, 2014 2:36 am

How To Deal With Family Conflict When Your Depressed?

Postby Marcelino » Fri Aug 18, 2017 6:58 pm

Learn some verbal self-defense (VSD).
And when you learn good VSD skills you will stop her emotionally bullying cold.
You want to be treated with respect? If you truly want this then you MUST train people how to treat you.
When your mother starts talking about problems, listen for 10 minutes and then tell her, "Mother STOP...it is NOT healthy to talk too much about unhappy things.
Let's talk about something happier".
When she attacks your weight, be NICESTY to her (nice+nasty).
Say, "I understand mother that you are unhappy and that is why you say these hurtful things. However we are family.
And healthy families bring each other up...not down".
In verbal self defense it is a mistake to take the bait, always attack their HIDDEN meaning behind the communication (your mother is unhappy) and be firm and if necessary be a "broken record" when they try to sway you from your position. The "broken record" technique is from the book, "When I Say No I feel Guilty".
Now all you need is a spine and this knowledge and things will change for the better.
Don't believe me.
Do it and see what happens...

Then ask your Mom to be a mother and join you on a diet.
Try Tim Ferris's "slow carb" diet.
One day a week you can go crazy eating sweets, crisps, pizza, etc...
The other 6 days it is meat, beans, eggs, beans, vegetables, and salads....and beans. I've lost 30 lbs doing this...
Marcelino
 
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Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2014 9:58 am

How To Deal With Family Conflict When Your Depressed?

Postby AbOwen » Fri Aug 18, 2017 7:00 pm

1) Ignore your mother's criticisms. I know that it is hard, but you know that you're trying. That's all anyone can ask for. Keep up the good work!

#2) When you are depressed, it's always good to go for a run. It makes yout heart race and get's a little adrinaline going. This releases indorphines and results in less depression. You can also try helping someone around you out. It always make me feel better knowing that I've helped someone! ^_^

#3) If your mother also has problems with stress and depression, then it explains why she critisizes you for whatever she can find. She is like a bully. She critisizes you because it makes her feel better about herself. She points out others problems to make her feel higher and like she's better. She knows she's not, but this is a common problem that many ppl have. Try being nice to her and complimenting her. Thank her for all the little things she does for you and make her feel important. That way she feels better about herself and won't take her depression out on you.
AbOwen
 
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Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 3:54 am

How To Deal With Family Conflict When Your Depressed?

Postby Roark » Fri Aug 18, 2017 7:02 pm

2 things you need...money and weed.

Weed would help you relax and u wont focus on the negative as much.
Roark
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2014 2:36 pm


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