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How Do I Tell My Dad That His Obsession With His Weight Is Really Hurting Me?

Discuss Lap Band Surgery

How Do I Tell My Dad That His Obsession With His Weight Is Really Hurting Me?

Postby Marcello » Sun Jul 02, 2017 7:16 am

My dad got a lap band surgery a year and half ago and has lost over 75 pounds. He's a normal body weight now and he's very happy. I am very proud of him.

However, he has become obsessed with working out and continuing to perfect his body, which I admire but I also resent. I have a normal BMI but i'm still self conscious of my body like many girls my age are. Today he said to me, "its unfortunate that you have the body shape you do".


He never used to say stuff like this. When he was a heavier man, he would always tell me that i'm perfect the way I am and that I'm beautiful, what most fathers tell their daughters. But now he will say things like, "that dress makes you look hippy and wide" or "that outfit is not flattering for your body type".


He also told me that I was the perfect weight when I came back from my trip to Thailand a few years back. I remember getting back that summer and having all my family members worried about how I got TOO thin while i was abroad.

I am really hurting lately because while I used to be perfect the way i was in my dad's eyes, now that he's become so obsessed with his own weight, he has also become critical of mine.
Marcello
 
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How Do I Tell My Dad That His Obsession With His Weight Is Really Hurting Me?

Postby Arnett » Sun Jul 02, 2017 7:17 am

Tell him exactly what you have told us here or show him this... I can't say it any better myself, you need to let him know how he is effecting you.
Arnett
 
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Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2014 11:30 pm

How Do I Tell My Dad That His Obsession With His Weight Is Really Hurting Me?

Postby Albin » Sun Jul 02, 2017 7:18 am

it looks like he has a lot of problems himself and is just projecting.it is like having a nose job and still covering your profile with your hand or hair.

don´t let it get to you.tell him very like u mean it to NOT TALK about this again!

do you think you could benefit from overeaters anonymous ?NOT because you are fat,just because they may have similar stories and could be a support....

it is great about your dad but yes,some people go overboard with the issue!

talk to the relatives that love you and are so supportive of you!
Albin
 
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Joined: Tue Jan 07, 2014 7:09 am

How Do I Tell My Dad That His Obsession With His Weight Is Really Hurting Me?

Postby huntington » Sun Jul 02, 2017 7:21 am

You need to tell him how he is making you feel maybe using comparisons to when he was overweight and people made comments about his shape/weight.
I would also tell him how proud you are of him but you are also worried he will go to far.


Speak to him when you are calm and not overemotional as then you will be able to speak more clearly and have a better chance of being understood.
huntington
 
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Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 5:29 pm


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